I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
