shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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