i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize