the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
