In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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