worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
