I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She needs sedatives and a leash
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
