What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
