Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
