he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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