If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Randomize
