Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
