so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
