I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize