at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
