ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize