I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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