i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
