He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
