My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize