Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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