WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
