i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize