he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
