Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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