I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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