You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
