God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
