No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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