Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
