is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
