I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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