Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize