Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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