do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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