ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
