Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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