More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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