NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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