You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
