32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
