I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
