Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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