This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
