a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This is classic penis vs brain.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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