I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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