Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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