I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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