please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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