What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
