Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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