Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
