just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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