It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Duck Duck Cougar?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Randomize
