dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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