1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
