just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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