So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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