You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
