nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
