I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
