Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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