I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize