doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize