she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
