I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
May the power of my ass compel you!!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
