I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
