Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize
