the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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