drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
