perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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