I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
